grace

I never thought we'd be where we are now when we took this picture 3 years ago, Easter Sunday 2008. Our first picture as a family of five. Maddie was 3 days post-op from her first open heart surgery and only 10 days old. We're in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit, she was still on the ventilator and really in a stand-still in her recovery. Though we have smiles on our faces, our hearts were torn that afternoon. I clearly remember attending the church service offered at Children's that morning and can visualize the other families in that little chapel filled with beautiful stained-glass windows. We all had one prayer in common though it was unspoken: healing for our sick child and God's grace on their life.

Our prayer of petition came true. She started to rally and we brought Maddie home just 1 week later. When I reflect on this journey, it really has been a good one for us. We've grown so much as individuals, in our marriage, as a family and especially in our faith. Standing by her bedside on this day I would have never imagined our lives feeling this normal and complete now. Though this was not the 'plan' we had for our daughter or our family, this plan has fit beautifully into our lives, simply because it was His. I loved our Palm Sunday message at church, especially our Pastor's definition of Grace. "God loves us so much that He gives us what we need, rather than what we deserve. This is grace." I'd never thought of it this way.

So my prayer on this Easter isn't much different than the one 3 years ago...for the healing, strength, and comfort for Maddie as her upcoming surgery is just 30 days away. Prayer for His grace on her life and our family's. She will once again be very sick after surgery and we will again, sit by her bedside; praying and waiting. We don't know what the Fontan will bring or how it will change our lives but we do know that we have a God who loved us enough to save us by sending His Son to die on a cross. Nails did not hold Him there...love did and three days later, He rose. What a miracle Easter is and we're thankful for the grace that only He can provide in our lives.

"Tis not that I did choose Thee,
For Lord, that could not be;
This heart would still refuse Thee,
Hadst Thou not chosen me...

My heart owns none before Thee,
For Thy rich grace I thrist;
This knowing, if I love Thee,
Thou must have loved me first."-Josiah Conder, 1836