She's almost 3...

I can't believe it either. This little girl is 3 days away from 3! My baby! Where has the time gone? Here's what Little Miss loves, dislikes, and memories I want to keep about our sweet girl at almost age 3:

• Maddie is a "mommy's girl" and I LOVE IT!


• she loves watching tv: Dora the Explorer, Olivia, and Diego (every morning she has her same routine with "milkie" and her shows)


• enjoys cooking with me and washing dishes...making a big watery mess really


• often wraps & rewraps a baby doll or stuffed animal in a blanket and carries it around the house with her, usually just footsteps behind me


• loves her big brothers and is quite funny with them, she definitely has a sense of humor


• she's left-handed: draws circles, colors tiny little scribbles, and enjoys painting


• if asked what her favorite color is, it's always pink


• loves play-doh!


• she likes our two cats and Sophie our dog (she calls her "Fosie", close enough) she's good at yelling at Fosie too. Not so great around horses or cows...too loud for her still


• takes a long nap (around 2 hrs) and often a short cat-nap during play or in the car, just signs that she is needing her 3rd surgery. She can randomly fall asleep almost anywhere and she asks to lay down, as well as gladly goes to bed. "I tidered" are words that frequent her mouth throughout the day too and I find myself carrying her a lot


• her favorite foods are: noodles, spaghetti, pizza, rice, salad, tacos, enchiladas, strawberries, pediasure/whole milk mixture, lemonade, ice water, waffles, ice cream, licorice--she's not very picky and is a good eater...weighing in at 32 lbs and 38" tall!


• her current favorite toys are her baby stroller, shopping cart, strawberry shortcake mini-dolls, little leapfrog laptop, any princess paraphernalia, and my i-phone


• she loves to play with her cousins and her best heart friend Teagie


• she says a sweet prayer when I tuck her in at bedtime: "Dear Heavenie Fader, Tank you all my bessings, bess my heart, seep good no bad deams, I love you, Ameen" When we speak of Jesus, her face lights up and she yells out "Jesus! I love Jesus!" while quickly nodding her head and smiling. Yes, she does know and love Him...warms my heart


• she often does "Nastics" (gymnastics) by twirling around, loping sideways, and bending over with one foot high up, very cute to watch and entertaining...she's watched cousins Savanna & Kaylee compete and is convinced that she does nastics as well!


• she loves books, begging for "just one more" and holding her little blue finger up as a number one. It's tough to resist!


• she is very chatty, sings a lot, and has a large vocabulary...she can be quite bossy and just recently started throwing fits when she doesn't get what she wants or things don't go by her plans


• to sum up her personality, Maddie is sweet, quiet, thoughtful, silly and very tender. She's observant and always concerned when others are crying or hurt and shows lots of empathy and understanding in these situations. Maybe all of her pokes, dr visits and procedures have actually helped her in this area? She can be really whiny and grumpy when she's tired but can still be talked "into/out of" things, situations, etc. pretty easily


• a perfect afternoon in Maddie's world is: swinging-- all. day. long.


• and she still loves to cuddle. Mooms makes our day, every day.

letting my face sparkle

We received the call last Thursday on Maddie's upcoming surgery. We were holding out for June for her Fontan surgery...but it is going to be in May. It's 3 months away...May 24th. I'm glad we have a date but it does bring a load of mixed emotions. I'd like to share with you something I've found very helpful lately, especially when the worry creeps in. Heart mom's...maybe this will help you too!

Recently, my mom and I were having a conversation on the subject of what we communicate as parents to our children. Action speaks so much louder than words. Do we live what we preach? What do we communicate to our kids? What does my faith communicate to them?

She shared with me a chapter out of the daily devotional, "Women of Faith" she reads. That particular day's excerpt was titled, Let your face Sparkle, written by Sheila Walsh.

"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord." -Psalm 31:24

"I am not an alien!" my son announced one morning over breakfast.

"I'm so glad darling. Now eat your eggs."

"Do you want to know how I know I'm not an alien?"

"Absolutely," I replied.

"Well, when E.T. is happy, his heart glows through his skin."

"What happens when you are happy?" I asked.

"Watch," he said. Slowly a mischievous grin spread across his face till his eyes shown. "My face sparkles!" he announced gleefully.

I thought about that all day. I wondered what my face communicates to my son, to others around me. I see a variety of emotions wash across my boy's face every day, bringing shadows or sunlight.

We each have a choice: to be a blank sheet of paper, left to the mercy of the pen of the day's events, or to be settled in heart and mind that God is in control of every moment and to rest in that good news. The latter decision requires faith and resolve. Hope then becomes an action word. It moves from a crossing of the fingers and hoping for the best to a bold stance of reliance on God.

We don't know what this day will hold, but God does. We don't have the strength to face every unexpected heartache, but God does. So let your face sparkle!

I had other plans for "when" Maddie's Fontan would take place...but God's timing is best. I can chose to let worry and fear about her upcoming surgery ruin the days we all have together until surgery or I can chose to put those feelings aside, trusting in Him because God knows best. He is in control of this and my faith has to lie in Him. More than anything, I want our children to see my reliance on God and my trust in His plan. I have hopes and dreams for how this will all go and my plan sounds great to me--but I have to have faith in His plan for her (and for all of us) and all the while, let my face sparkle. Our hope is in the Lord.

Speaking of sparkle...this little girl LOVES to paint her fingernails and the more sparkle, the better! This was her idea after a bath this week. It's not tough to have a "sparkling face" with this little love.

I pray

I pray that no other parent shall have to hear those words "Congenital Heart Defect"

I pray that no other parent is given the choice to terminate their pregnancy or has to chose the "comfort care" method by bringing their newborn baby home to die because of a complex CHD

I pray that no other parent shall have to sacrifice time with their "healthy" child because you can't be in 2 places at once

I pray that no other parent has to see their child eat with a tube because just sucking a bottle makes them tired and sick

I pray that no other parent has to make the decision to have their child's chest cracked open and heart stopped

I pray that no other parent has to endure the torture of seeing their child cry her eyes out, yet not hear a sound

I pray that no other parent shall have to get instructions on how to hold their child - this should be instinct

I pray that no other parent is at the mercy of waiting for another child to pass away, because this is their child's only chance of living

I pray that no other parent has an empty crib waiting for it's owner to come home from the hospital, if at all

I pray that no other child should have to go through all this pain, yet still lose their fight in the end

I pray for hope

I pray for awareness

I pray for research

I pray for a cure

Today is Congenital Heart Defects Awareness Day...as you love and hug the sweet valentines in your life, please say a prayer for those born with a broken heart.

("I pray" was taken from Heart Mama's facebook group.)

calendar girls!

I love, I love, I love my calendar girl
Yeah, sweet calendar girl
I love, I love, I love my calendar girl
Each and every day of the year!
(February) You're my little valentine...

Maddie & Teagan were featured in a calendar benefitting Seattle Children's, created by the Harvest Ball Guild in Tri-Cities. These two are the cover of the calendar as well as the month of February...fitting for two very special 'sweet' hearts.

Yesterday, we spent the afternoon with Teagan and her family. How we love our time with them. We spent the day eating noodles, playing at a playground in beautiful weather, shopping, and just enjoying our time together. As I've said many times before, the girls are very cute together and because of their friendship, another one has really bloomed over the past couple of years: Caden & Gavin are buddies. These boys are only a couple of weeks apart in age and have a lot in common. They have just as much fun as their sisters and between all four of these kids, there were many tears and sad faces when we said our goodbyes at Hobby Lobby. Simply said, we love the Maxwell's!

Something the Lord Made

If you haven't seen this movie, you need to. It shows how far congential heart surgery has come and is just a wonderful story if you're connected to CHD or not!

loss and gain

I wrote this post back on January 9th, 2011...I will finally post it, in honor of lessons learned from raising a child with CHD.

I'm having one of those days today. After visiting our cousin's brand-new, precious baby boy in the hospital yesterday, I'm feeling sad...because he was born with a CHD. He's doing very well and will hopefully come home soon. We pray he will not need surgery and the hole in his heart (VSD) will close on its own. We're thankful he's doing great and so are his parents. We love them and their worry is close to our hearts.

Being back in a NICU brought many memories back that I'd rather forget. I don't think I dealt with many of my emotions while at the hospital or really even after coming home with our precious baby girl. We had so much on our minds and didn't have time to really "go back" on what we'd just been through. There were hoops to still jump through with her, surgeries to be accomplished, weight to be gained, milestones to reach, and so I didn't want to think back. And life carried on.

So on a day like today, I've given myself permission for just a bit this morning to feel sorry for what I missed with her birth. Not being awake when she was born, getting to only spend 2 hours with her in her first 48 hours of life, holding her only a handful of times that first month of her life, not being able to nurse her because she'd get too tired, not being able to bond like I'd wanted to with our baby, being absent from our boys life, ages 4 and 2 at the time...they needed me and I needed them. Living in a hospital, not knowing how in the world this all can be done. All of this is not ideal when you have a baby and simply not fair but in our case, in Maddie's case, was necessary for her to live. For her to be with us now. And we did it.

I guess this is why we don't take anything for granted with her. Each day that Maddie wakes up, staggers into our room, sucking her thumb or like this morning, smacking a big wad of pink bubble gum, I'm so grateful. Yes, we've been through more than most young parents, but every second of worry, fear and sadness has been worth it. I'd do it all again and again and again to have her on this earth. This little girl is so worth it. She's here and this is what I will chose to focus on today, not what I lost. Because so much more has been gained in our lives because of our Maddie girl. We look at life differently...and this is the best part. We can only thank her for teaching us this.

the force is with CHD!

People living with CHD are all around us... it's really an invisible disease. There are an estimated 1.8 million Americans living with CHD today. That 1 in 100 statistic sure adds up! It's awesome there are this many survivors, living with varying defects. Maddie's specific diagnosis is only about 6% of the 1 in 100's born with CHD. It's rare.

Here's a cool story of the cute little Darth Vader guy from my favorite Superbowl commercial this year. He's been featured in the news, The Today Show, and CHD is really getting some airtime! Click here to read the story of this heart baby survivor!