my hero

Maddie has been more inclined to talking about her heart, asking questions and giving her side of things lately. I love that she's voicing her feelings and opinions when it comes to her heart. Recently, I received a package in the mail from Seattle Children's. It was her surgery DVD's. Yes, they are recorded and you can request them with medical records.

Since the little ones were taking naps, I decided to pop in her Fontan surgery DVD. I've watched her first heart surgery, so I wasn't new to this type of footage, but I admit that I'll always be taken back when I realize that it's my daughter's chest that is cracked wide open while small tools, surgical thread and needles work away on her beating heart. My chest always tightens and the lump in my throat does not go away. I am in awe of her surgeon each time I see this...how does he do it? It's simply amazing. Well, as I was trying to figure out what "step" he was on, Miss Maddie walked in and sat in my lap. I didn't feel the need to turn it off or buffer what I was viewing and she asked very innocently, "is that my surgery?" Gulp. I quickly replied that yes, it was and that those were Dr. McMullan's hands working on her heart. She wasn't grossed out or confused by it. She asked if she was sleeping during it and so we talked a minute about the strawberry gas she breathed in before mommy left her in the surgical suite and that it put her to sleep so she wouldn't feel it. I love this about Maddie...she has always taken things with stride. But the next words out of her mouth I will never forget...

"Mama, I was so brave wasn't I."

It's moments like these that I know God knew what He was doing when He sent Maddie to us. Only He would know that she could endure this and do it so well. He knew that she would be the one to teach us. Maddie is brave, resilient in many ways, and will always be my hero.