Pre-Op & a ROYAL send off for the princess!

Today was a very long day of pre-op appointments and Maddie did spectacular which makes tomorrow even a bit more sad for me, she was so trusting and sweet through all of her exams, pokes, prodding and visits with medical staff. She had a chest x-ray, EKG, vitals, sats were 76% and weight was 15.1 kilos. The weight was a big "whoo-hoo" and major goal achieved before this surgery. We had prescriptions to pick up and lots of odds and ends to take care of. We did get into the Ronald McDonald House today, which is great since it's so close to the hospital and accommodating to families. We're at House A, which is the same one we stayed in during her Glenn surgery. Maddie is still scheduled for the 1st case tomorrow morning. We need to be at the hospital at 6am and her surgery should begin at 7:30 am. I plan to update the blog if computer issues don't interfere (been having those these past couple of days).

Though I've had moments of sadness and guilt of having to put her through all of this, we're doing pretty good. We have our family here and we're so amazed by all of the incredible support we're getting from home, friends, and more family. Thanks to everyone for the wonderful facebook messages, emails, blog comments and posts, voice mails, texts, cards and gifts we've received. Knowing how much everyone cares about Maddie is such a huge blessing. And even more so, we're so thankful for the prayers on her behalf as well as for our entire family. We know the power of prayer. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This brings us more strength than you know.

After leaving home Sunday with our kids, we spent the afternoon at the zoo then went swimming at the hotel's pool. Ordering pizza in is always a hit since we don't have this luxury in our little home town. And speaking of that lil' country town... what a send-off my sweet friends put together back in Royal! It was a surprise and these pictures speak volumes of the love we felt from all of you. I was a teary mess. Maddie is such a lucky little girl. Thank you to our dear friends and families for lining our road, sending off 50 pink & red balloons and making those cute banners and signs for her. It was a parade fit for a princess! We are incredibly grateful for all of the kindness shown to our family. Ok, so now onto the pictures... thanks Jens for the great pictures and my mom took a couple of these too.


Shelli & Courtney, the 'masterminds' behind this covert operation! Way to go girls, we LOVED it and what a wonderful way to leave our beloved home town.

pictures!

My wonderful friend Michele came out on Thursday to take the kid's pictures. She's a very talented, sweet and supportive friend, and visiting with her was just what I needed that evening. Watching the boys and Maddie play around and pose was good for the soul too. I love these pictures...she caught their personalities and expressions just beautifully! These are our three to a 't'...

We're heading out to Seattle today. Tomorrow is a packed day at the hospital for pre-op appointments. Maddie's actually excited about going to the hospital now, after knowing she'll get to pick toys out of her treasure tote and that she'll get lots of popcicles after her surgery. I'm happy that popcicles and dollar store toys console her of what's to come at the moment. The joys of only being 3.

In 1 week...

Maddie will be the patient and we'll be sitting in a waiting room, anxiously awaiting on news to how her surgery is going. I can't believe it's already here. I shouldn't be shocked, we've known this day would come (God willing) since finding out about her heart on January 8, 2008. The third surgery seemed decades away at the time, really over the past couple of years it's seemed so distant, due to the fact that we just looked enough ahead to prepare for the next procedure, next appointment, and tried keeping her healthy & gaining enough weight. We've taken this journey a day at a time and now she's ready. Her Fontan surgery is scheduled for early next Tuesday morning, May 24th.

I've been trying to keep really busy...doing odd-ball things like drawer organizing, making cute hospital gear for her (which my mom gladly took over because of my lack of concentration), changing the look of our blog, and planting more flowers than I'd intended to this spring. I've had a difficult time sleeping, due to worry and stress but also to the fact that Miss Maddie has had some rough nights to. She's been waking up crying & wanting mommy. I oblige every time because frankly, in a week, she'll be in a lot of pain and discomfort. If I can comfort her and love on her every night by crawling into bed with her or bringing her into our bed, I will. I've been looking at it as practice for the hospital and practice for my patience! So much for our theory of not letting our kiddos sleep with us! It's a habit I'm willing to break with her and we're getting really good at sharing a bed since I'm sure that's where I will be for the next couple of weeks...squished in a single patient bed with an understandably cranky 3 year old.

But how do you prepare? Of course, prayer fills much of my time. Throughout my day I find myself asking Him my many questions, pleas and asking for help through this. And my top concern and prayer, of course, is for Maddie. How is she going to do with all of this? Will she trust us again? Can we reason with her? Will she allow the doctors and nurses to help her without a fight? Will the Fontan work for Maddie? What if, what if, what if? And then I've realized that I am taking on too much here. This is out of my hands and my control, so again, I find myself asking Him to take my worry and my fears. I ask for the Lord's help and I continually ask for Him to take this. And so far, it's working. Today I got up feeling really refreshed and actually excited to get this over with. It's inevitable, we might as well just enjoy these days before hospital life and keep our lives as normal as possible. And thanks to our 3 children, I stay busy. This is what I will miss most while in the hospital. The mundane, ordinary things while at home with kids...cleaning up after them, attaching lego guys arms, laundry, helping them find toys, changing panties from accidents, making meals, and playing outside. Normal things are keeping me sane right now.

Maddie knows what's up with all of this, though we've tried to spare the details until just a day or two before the surgery. Unfortunately, she worries like me so I try to avoid telling her too early...why make her anxious any longer than she needs to be? She's always known her heart needs fixed again, she's seen several pictures of herself in the hospital during prior surgeries and procedures, and she's seen several of our "heart friends" pictures on the computer during their recent Fontans. She knows she has to go back to the hospital but doesn't know when. She just randomly brings up that she doesn't want any owies or pokes and she doesn't want to see the hospital or doctors. That's a tough one. I've just tried to explain that in order for her to feel better and not "tidered" anymore, run faster, and play like her cousins, she has to have her heart fixed and there will be a few owies but she'll also get to chose little toys from a treasure box we've made for being brave, and she'll get visits from everyone she loves while in the hospital. I've told her about the hospital's playroom and playground and she'll get to go on lots of wagon rides. This seems to suffice for now. This is the great thing about being 3.

I have a couple of books that we're reading this week as well as packet that Children's sent us with pictures of the hospital, familiar faces she may see, and it talks about having surgery. Child Life also sent us 3 packages filled with fabric dolls dressed in adorable hospital gowns, surgical masks, hair nets, gloves, syringes, bandages, tubing, gas masks, and medicine cups to play with. On Mother's Day, I broke all of that out and the big brothers had our basement rec room turned into quite the O.R and cardiac clinic. She enjoyed taking vitals on her baby dolls, putting on band aids, checking for fevers, putting them "asleep" with the gas masks, and listening to their hearts. It was therapeutic and really a wonderful afternoon. Having Jace and Cade play this with her made it much more fun. It's really been a normal part of her life as well as theirs, they were pros and I enjoyed sitting on the stairs listening to them. Though it's not typical that kid's this age know how to take blood pressure, stick on EKG stickers or tie a band on a dolly's arm for a blood draw, they've embraced this part of their lives. I'm so proud of them for this.

a catch-up post!

Easter 2011 Maddie & Jilly had fun playing with colored bubbles at Grandpa & Grandma Allred's Easter dinner
Kylie & Maddie at Nany & Ba's Easter dinner, we had on Good Friday this year

The annual Mardon Easter Egg hunt: cousins Kylie, Jett, Cade, Jace & Maddie

And now onto the kids...make sure to read the bottom of this post for some exciting news!
JACE:
He's our busy 1st grader. Finished basketball in February, what a fun season with lots of friends and my coach from high school spear-headed a bunch of 1st grade boys. It was so fun to watch, those boys really showed some improvement over the season. His claim to fame lately has been his joke telling ability...he performed (quite well for that matter) at the school's talent show in February, telling a few jokes to a crowd of 700! He moved onto soccer and we watched his games from our car since our weather this spring has been so crummy! Soon, he'll be playing baseball, which is his favorite sport. He's doing well in school, latest report card had us grinning from ear to ear and he earned himself a book at the book fair for his hard work, choosing "Predator Showdown". He and Cade have loved looking at that book, trying to figure out which animal claims victory over another. They sleep together every night, not in their own beds which are in the same room, but in our guest room. I like it so I don't mind; it won't be long that they'll want to share the same bed. Someday they'll use their cute bedroom. They'd rather sleep in the mix-n-match, undecorated, spare bedroom. Jace is a great big brother, constantly coming up with games and things to play for he and Cade, always including little sis in the mix, even if she's not up to par with what they're playing. He and Caden loved going down to the ranch for branding this year, they even got to ride a couple of calves. He's growing up too quickly!CADEN:
Just finished preschool! He's officially graduated and registered for Kindergarten this fall. I loved teaching Cade in preschool this year. He is a very bright boy and quite the perfectionist. Artsy too. He's constantly drawing pictures, using up stacks of sticky notes while sticking them all over the house. Cade is our kid that never says "I'm bored." He finds things to do, makes plenty of messes, and is so creative in his play. Being the middle child, he plays great with kids but unusually well on his own too. He plays on his terms, so I'm sure that's why he's quite good at self-play. We've been so impressed with how much he loves and cares for Maddie. He talks to her in the sweetest tone, getting her toys, tries to lift her onto her swing outside, helps carry her up the stairs. She's a lucky girl to have Cade as a playmate and protector these days, boy is she going to miss him when he's off to school this fall. He's enjoyed riding a few times this year, only on his favorite horse, "Sparky Boy". We enjoyed a fun spring break horse back riding excursion with Derek & Carly's family on the ranch. Cade was a pro. Oh, and I must mention how tough he is...just had his shots for Kindergarten, 4 of them in all and he didn't cry, not even one tear. Also had two warts frozen off recently and never even blinked. Yes, he's our superboy and determined to be the tough guy.
MADDIE:
Prefers to not be called "Maddie Moomer" anymore. She corrects us if we say this by saying, "my name isn't Moomer, it's Maddie Grace Allred!" She's really a talker, loves watching herself in the reflection of the oven or dryer, chatting up a storm as she brushes her hair from her face and smiles. She loves to help me...especially with dishes. Water, bubbles anyone? I'm yet to master how to incorporate her help, while still getting my chores done and without the watery mess. She loves packing around a stuffed animal or baby, rocking them in her rocking chair, patting and singing to them. She discovered that her baby doll's eyes open and close, and whoa, "Molly her baby" took a lot of naps yesterday. Maddie loves to take baths, has constantly had rashes this winter; her recent rash was ring worm, which we have no idea where she got it from. She and Caden are just getting over a lovely case of pink eye too. Her nose has been runny most of the winter/spring and she's been on a couple of rounds of antibiotics from ear infections this late winter. She's currently healthy (knock on wood) and on "house arrest" now, not venturing out in public or in any groups of people for that matter, so we're keeping busy at home with projects and play. We need to keep her healthy for surgery. She and I were recently baptized at our church, First Presbyterian, the week after Easter. It was such a wonderful evening and having this sacred experience with her will always be a special memory for me. She was precious and my heart was so full.
and our big news is...WE'RE EXPECTING!!! I'm 14 weeks along and baby is due Nov. 6th, though with the c-section, looks like sometime around Halloween. We're all very excited!

grace

I never thought we'd be where we are now when we took this picture 3 years ago, Easter Sunday 2008. Our first picture as a family of five. Maddie was 3 days post-op from her first open heart surgery and only 10 days old. We're in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit, she was still on the ventilator and really in a stand-still in her recovery. Though we have smiles on our faces, our hearts were torn that afternoon. I clearly remember attending the church service offered at Children's that morning and can visualize the other families in that little chapel filled with beautiful stained-glass windows. We all had one prayer in common though it was unspoken: healing for our sick child and God's grace on their life.

Our prayer of petition came true. She started to rally and we brought Maddie home just 1 week later. When I reflect on this journey, it really has been a good one for us. We've grown so much as individuals, in our marriage, as a family and especially in our faith. Standing by her bedside on this day I would have never imagined our lives feeling this normal and complete now. Though this was not the 'plan' we had for our daughter or our family, this plan has fit beautifully into our lives, simply because it was His. I loved our Palm Sunday message at church, especially our Pastor's definition of Grace. "God loves us so much that He gives us what we need, rather than what we deserve. This is grace." I'd never thought of it this way.

So my prayer on this Easter isn't much different than the one 3 years ago...for the healing, strength, and comfort for Maddie as her upcoming surgery is just 30 days away. Prayer for His grace on her life and our family's. She will once again be very sick after surgery and we will again, sit by her bedside; praying and waiting. We don't know what the Fontan will bring or how it will change our lives but we do know that we have a God who loved us enough to save us by sending His Son to die on a cross. Nails did not hold Him there...love did and three days later, He rose. What a miracle Easter is and we're thankful for the grace that only He can provide in our lives.

"Tis not that I did choose Thee,
For Lord, that could not be;
This heart would still refuse Thee,
Hadst Thou not chosen me...

My heart owns none before Thee,
For Thy rich grace I thrist;
This knowing, if I love Thee,
Thou must have loved me first."-Josiah Conder, 1836

their favorite thing to do is...

play DRESS-UP! I never thought boys would enjoy dressing up so much...every penny spent on these costumes has been well worth it! They have great imaginations with some of the get-ups they come up with and have to always be in "character" with their play. It's entertaining to say the least! And I love that Maddie is starting to enjoy it just as much as her big brothers do!

a new cousin

Grady Ray Stewart was born March 23. He's a big boy, weighing in at 9 lbs. 11 oz. and 21 inches! How did Maddie react to her new cousin? IN LOVE with him is an understatement! Let's just say "Baby Gady" has gotten lots of petting when Maddie's been around. Congrats Ryan, Jess & Kylie! We're so happy for you!