Brotherly Love

Before Maddie's arrival, I stressed and cried over how this would affect the boys. The life they knew was quickly going to change by not only having a new baby in our family but a high maintenance little thing with health problems. We carefully explained that the baby had a broken heart and would need to be in the hospital to have it fixed. It was tough to do because we didn't want to cause unnecessary fear. Since, we didn't know ourselves what the outcome would be. Then she decided to come and early to boot! The boys were quickly thrown around between grandparents and aunts & uncles and they handled it great. Bryan and I probably had a tougher time than they did. Since I'm a stay-at-home mom, I just didn't know how they'd handle me not being in the picture since I'm with them 24/7. They were well-taken care of, entertained to the highest, and put on a pedestal after their sister's birth. We did get to see them weekly with family bringing them back and forth to Seattle. Let's just say we had a little un-spoiling to do after we got home! They made many fun memories in the midst of our "crisis" and their memories of Maddie really began after we brought her home. The baby they'd visited in the ICU wasn't a part of their life yet and the tubes, wires, and her surroundings made this so. They had little connection with her until she was home with us. Jace quickly took on his role as the big brother, trying to help in anyway by even entertaining Cade since I was always busy either feeding, pumping, or trying to just catch up on my chores. Their bond as brothers really grew during that time away from us. They depended on each other and one wouldn't go anywhere without the other. Caden had a tougher time, his "spot" as my baby was taken and he was a little lost. He was extra needy, very emotional and attached to my mom, Nany, since she seemed to fill what he needed from me and she was around a lot to help. To this day, they have a very special bond. As everything settled, I think he regained some of the trust he'd lost in me, figured out his spot was not taken just shifted to a new role and 11 months later, he's a proud big brother and adores his little sister to the extreme that we have to often say things like: "Cade, that's enough hugs...enough kisses...leave your sister alone!" Things have changed for them with Maddie's arrival in the family; whether it's being separated from us with the hospital stays and appointments, no preschool or parties or playdates because of sick kids, or by just staying at home simply to avoid exposure to illness. They've learned at an early age about empathy, sacrifice, fear, prayer, happiness in little things, teamwork, and they've been troopers from the start. I'm so very proud of them and Maddie's such a lucky girl to have Jace and Caden as her big brothers. This heart journey has been an easy one compared to some and Maddie has not been "typical" for a baby with only a half-heart. We've been lucky and so very blessed, and I attribute her toughness and determination, traits she's gotten from her big brothers. A CHD has changed our life but I can say with 100% honesty that it's only been for the better with our family!

Here's a few quotes from Jace and Cade regarding their sister or "heart stuff" that I've jotted down over the past year...
Jace:
* "Mom, I take good care of Maddie and tertect her because her heart is broken."
* "Hey, I've been here before, it's the hospital! Mom, just drive to the whale parking!" (when we went to see baby Tripp at the Moses Lake hospital not Seattle Children's, doesn't all hospital parking lots have animal parking lots?)
* "Caden, if you don't eat your dinner, mom will put a feeding tube in your nose like Maddie's!"
* When we celebrated baby Annabelle's birthday by sending a pink balloon to heaven, he insisted that "her name needs to be on it so nobody else will take it. It's for her birthday party."
* At lunch one day, Jace was looking at Maddie and asked if I'd given her a purple popsicle since her lips were blue...they even "catch" her moments of blueness and make sure to report it :o)

Cade:
* "When Maddie grows up her heart won't be broken anymore. And her heart is red, my favorite color"
* After cousin Kylie was born and their first visit with her at our house, Cade pulled up her shirt to see if she had a scar like Maddie's...Aunt Jessica and I explained that Kylie's heart didn't need fixed. So cute (and a little sad) that in his mind, he probably thought every baby needed their heart fixed!
* He's my "puke/poop patrol guy" by always yelling..."Mom, Maddie puked again!" or "Maddie stinks really bad Mom!"

And this post is not complete without mentioning that today Maddie is 11 months old! She's crawling everywhere like a mad-woman, pulling up on the furniture and she just figured out how to walk while holding onto mommy's hands. Cruising around the room with mom is at the top of her list now! Her favorite thing to say is "huh-oh" over and over again and she likes to do "so big" by putting her hands up in the air. In one more month...our baby girl will be SO BIG...1 year old!