A letter on your first birthday...

Dear Sweetest Baby Girl,

Today is your first birthday Madison Grace...a day that your daddy and I dreamed of, a huge milestone that we were unsure would ever come due to the fear that paralyzed us a year ago. We tried to prepare for the struggles you'd have to endure and we consoled ourselves with the fact that we had no choice; to have you, you'd have to undergo countless procedures in your life and this was out of our hands. Maddie, you have been a wonder from the start...to share some of these many "wonders" from your birth...you unexpectedly came a month early, I labored all day with you then your heart rate suddenly dropped due to the "life line" being compressed so the doctors had you out in minutes via crash c-section, your apgar scores were initially a 3, all of this was so sudden, a complete shock, and incredibly stressful since you weren't due until April 14th~but you fought through all of these obstacles! I pleaded with the doctors just before being put-under for the c-section that they'd save you and in the midst of the crisis, they did...YOU made it! Once you were stable, we got to see you for the first time for just a few minutes and immediately, I knew that everything we'd already gone through and would about to endure was going to be worth it. You were a beautiful, quiet and peaceful little soul and we instantly knew that you were extra-ordinary. That first week before your cath and open-heart surgery was truly amazing. It was so much work for you just to breathe and the erratic movements of your chest reminded us that your heart was indeed, broken. The side effects from the meds made you not want to be touched, you were easily startled and agitated, yet when we had the opportunity to hold you (a total of 3 times your first week of life) you were incredibly calm and quiet. It's as if you were telling us that it all would turn out fine and to not to worry. Maddie, you comforted us in the midst of your fight. Those days we spent in the hospital are memories I'll never forget, and ironically enough, I would never trade them for anything...these wonders made us grow and this growth happened because of you.

This past year, you have brought us more fulfillment, joy and gratitude to our lives. Through you, we have learned to rely more on God and have felt His presence more than ever before. In your 12 months, we have endured many seasons...you've brought us to our knees, to tears, more smiles to our faces, and filled our hearts with true happiness. We take so much for granted and you have taught us to count each and every blessing, the good and the bad, since every blessing in life isn't necessarily suger-coated. We've learned to love the simple, quiet times and simply "stepping back" has brought our little family so much closer. We've learned to love nothing to do, no where to go, and to just enjoy each other for "what is" since life can change so quickly.

Maddie Grace, your heart is special but we've learned of a soul that is even more special and that's you. God created you perfectly, with a custom-made heart, since He knew you would be able to endure what it brought with it. His faith in you is ever-lasting as is His love. I've argued with Him many times that there is no way that He can love you more than your daddy and I do, but He does sweet baby girl, hard to fathom but true. Your daddy and I have had to "re-hand" you over to Him and so far, He's given you back...we are ever so grateful and humbled. We are simply in awe of your fight, your resilience, your strength and your ability to overcome the odds. You may only have a half of a heart but what a powerful little engine it is! We're simply amazed by you! How we've been so lucky, we'll never know, but I have a feeling that it's YOU and not so much the luck in this equation. You have touched so many lives in your first year of life and anyone who meets you is instantly "roped in". God has a very special plan for you. Today is a day for us to celebrate...to thank our Father in Heaven for the gift of our first daughter and to dream of "what is" and what is to come. Maddie, you are an incredible little girl like no other! Happy 1st Birthday our beautiful, sweet baby...and thank you for choosing us! Our hearts are so full.

I Love You, Mama