We've been asked how we're doing and to tell the truth, it's gut wrenching at times. Tomorrow is gut wrenching. I find it very hard to swallow, especially the alternative, if Maddie doesn't have the surgery or if her heart doesn't like what it's about to endure tomorrow. It's hard to put your baby through this kind of ordeal. So I'm reminded of many things as I type away.
I'm reminded that she'll never remember any of this and I do find some solace in it. I'm reminded that her heart is working much too hard when I feel her little chest against mine, it must be getting tired of beating over time. I'm reminded that she is not as strong as she used to be when she can only finish an ounce of her bottle before tuckering out. I'm reminded that she should thrive after this surgery...she only weighs 12 lbs at 4 months right now. I'm reminded with her scar of all she has overcome in her little life. I'm reminded by her smile and sweet eyes of the dreams and plans I have for her. I'm reminded by this past week of her strong will and fight. I'm reminded, since coming home on March 31st, that we have been "gearing up" for tomorrow, the next step in her heart repair. I'm reminded by angel heart babies just how precious time is. I'm reminded that our Jesus has been with Maddie thus far and will be there tomorrow, holding her on that operating table, when I can't. I'm reminded that He loves her more than I can ever imagine or fathom. I'm reminded that He has answered so many of our prayers and I'm reminded that He's here and He's listening. Please join us in prayer for our baby girl tomorrow.
I'd like to share a beautiful poem written by another heart mom, Stephanie (mom to Braeden, HLHS). Again, I have to trust Him when handing her over tomorrow. I'm reminded to trust and know that this is out of my hands.
I pull out our suitcase,
It's time to pack.
I just can't believe,
that it's time to go back.
I wish we could run,
My feelings are mixed,
Just go someplace where..
there's no hearts to be fixed.
No more needles, no more taped cheeks,
Oh Lord we've been home,
but for just 16 weeks.
I know that's a blessing,
some have had less,
but I want more time,
I'm just nervous I guess.
Lord I have a question,
that only you know,
when they tap my shoulder,
because it's time to go..
When I straighten her blankie,
and I smooth down her hair,
Do you promise me Lord,
that you will be there?
When I trace her small hand,
and I kiss her forehead,
and I long to pretend,
that she's home in her bed,
Will you give me the strength,
that I need on that day?
If I give you my burdens
will you take them away?
I know it is true,
that we do what we must,
and that all I can do Lord,
is to give you my trust.
13 comments:
Katie, you have once again brought me to tears. Lots of prayers for today, tomorrow and all the days to follow. Maddie is such a strong little one, with wonderful, strong parents behind her. Most importantly, she has God on her side.
Oh the tears!! We are thinking of you and wearing out knees out with prayer. We love you so much and send hugs and kisses your way. God will be with you all of the days. We will not let you or Maddie down. Trust and believe and keep the faith! We love you so much!
We are sending our love and Prayers your way as is all of us over the mountains, Watch out there is a huge Prayer cloud coming over the Cascades to be with Maddie.
The zoo looked fun, i bet the boys enjoyed being there with you.
All our Love,
Gari Lynn and Dain
Good luck tomorrow! We'll keep the prayers coming your way!
You're in our hearts and prayers today and always. Tomorrow will soon be over and Maddie will have another brave tale to tell. Hold on to each other and brave the storm "united". We'll be there in our thoughts. Love always,
Clint, Kelsey and Wade
Thank you so much for keeping all of us updated. We will continue praying for sweet little Maddie as well as you and your family. Stay strong..she is a little fighter.
Avery is begging me to write Hi to Jace and she likes his pictures!:)
Take Care!
Katie,
Our thoughts and prayers are headed your way. I hope time flies by so Maddie can be done with all of it quickly and be back to her strong self. Katie I can't say enough how strong you are and such an amazing mommy. Your family is so precious. Love your zoo pictures.
God Bless
Randee
Of course we ARE praying for you ALL! Please let me share a song with you that I've thought of lately.
Nearer, Still Nearer
by Lelia N. Morris
Nearer, still nearer, close to Thy heart,
Draw me, my Savior, so precious Thou art.
Fold me, O fold me close to Thy breast,
Shelter me safe in that "Haven of Rest"
Shelter me safe in that "Haven of Rest."
I hope that you find your peace and comfort in the "Haven of Rest," Jesus Christ tonight.
Angie
Katie, there are no words to take away your pain or discomfort, only the loving promise from God that he is in control and always with you. Imagine all of us here on this end of the blog are surrounding you with big hugs. Many prayers are being said. Thinking of you constantly!!!! Love, the miller's
My heart goes out to your tomorrow as you hand your sweet baby girl off. I know all too well the pain you are feeling as Owen just underwent the Glenn 2 months ago. It's not an easy road, but you will be so happy to get this surgery out of the way!!
Prayers for Maddie and your family tomorrow.
Andrea
Owen's mom
Special thoughts and prayers for you all. I just love how every where I've gone in Royal today, Store, Doctor office, library, Spuds we are all reminding each other to pray for your family!! Here is hoping you really truly feel it.
Dearest Allred Family,
Our hearts are full for all of you and we are praying for Maddie, knowing that God is her surgeon today! Bless you and have peace!
love,
Laurie and Gary Maxwell
Teagan's nana n' papa
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